Just a few thoughts

Well, it's January. January is a love/hate kind of month for me. I love it because my birthday is January 23rd, but I hate it for the same reason. :) I've found that as I get older birthdays become less and less important. This one seems to be exceptionally less important because of the birthday "gifts" I've requested. Don't get me wrong, my family (especially my mom) went WAY overboard with Christmas (as she usually does), and Tyler also got me more than I asked for, but I can't help but feel a little sad that my birthday has been robbed this year. From my parents I'm getting a USMLE test question bank. That will also be my gift from my grandparents. While it is extremely useful, it's not fun. Its interesting how little fun seems to matter when you grow up. I'll also be taking a Pharmacology exam 2 days afterwards, so I'm sure I'll spend a huge chunk of the day studying away! ;-/

I was also thinking earlier today about how I used to think of medicine. The human body was such a wonder to me, something totally beautiful. Now, I don't even have time to think of it that way. There are some days I wonder how a baby can be born without some sort of birth defect and yet it happens everyday... I have memorized more about the body than I would have thought possible and I'm not even done yet. I've been tested sometimes 5 days a week on things that I've memorized. Frankly is absolutely exhausting! It makes me wonder how much of this knowledge it's possible to retain. I wouldn't go so far as to say I've fallen out of love with medicine, I still can't picture myself doing anything else, but I do find myself wondering if people knew what it was like, I mean REALLY knew, would they do it? No wonder there is a shortage of doctors out there.

I guess I'm just sort of venting a little, isn't that what blogs are for? lol. I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now. Board exams are in 6 short months and I'm having some trouble with my stomach again. I wish someone could tell me whats wrong and how to fix it. The dichotomy is interesting, studying to be a doctor and frustrated with future colleagues because they can't seem to fix me. I don't even want a quick fix, I just want an answer. If someone could just tell me what to stop eating, I would do it. I'm feeling pretty well tonight, great by yesterdays standards, but I hardly ate anything all day. I just don't know how long the good feeling will last or how long I can survive on white rice and plain pasta with roasted veggies.

Well Ty is in watching Golden Girls with our little pooch. I guess I should get in there and get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel even better than I did today!